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Another salvo in this war of attrition between me and The Statler Brothers. (Actually, the war must be between me and whomever reads these entries, because that’s who sustains the abuse in this situation. The Statlers themselves (excepting Lew) are fine and unawares — living out their Christian lives with feathered gray hair and gold necklaces.

Anyway, on we go. This week’s track is “I Wish I Could Be,” and it’s a song I don’t need to rant about like most of the others. Why? Because it doesn’t muck with that old Statler small town/big city dichotomy (here or here) or the hypocrisy of Christianity (every other Statlers post). This one is actually a very sweet lullaby, devoid of gimmickry. It goes like this:

I wish I could be in Knoxville tonight
so I wouldn’t worry if you were all right
And you wouldn’t wonder where I spent the night
If I could only be in Knoxville tonight

How do you like that? Instantly it puts a distance between the protagonist (P) and his lady, both at the scale of geography and obviously emotionally as well. That’s some country music for you. And, okay, the song isn’t completely devoid of gimmickry, as it continues with each member of the group taking a turn, naming a different city and some differently-expressed sentiment:

I wish I could be in St Paul today
and watch you get dressed and ready for your day
And tell you some things I know you’ve been told
If I could get to St Paul before it gets cold

I’d give everything I have if things had just begun
And you were lying there in North Carolina sun
Every thing we had was still yet to be
Carolina you sure got the best of me

And that was a mistake, because if you don’t do that round-robin thing it’s even sadder — imagine if there aren’t 4 different dudes singing about 4 different ladies in 4 different cities today, but rather one dude singing about one lady in 4 different cities at 4 different periods of their life together. Better, right? He’s wishing he could make it back to those times and places when their lives were happier and more ripe with promise. Today, promise spent, she’s in Knoxville and he’s not. Ouch. Before that they were in St. Paul, together, and he wishes he could get back there “before it gets cold.” Oof. The Little Rock verse is harder to bend into this reading (e.g. “if I could fly a plane”), so let’s skip it. This leaves that time, in North Carolina, when “everything we had was still yet to be.” And what better way to make you want to blow your brains out? (i.e. isn’t that good, solid country music?)

And while this all makes it harder for me (never having been to North Carolina and therefore unable to choose a perfect spot to set this one down), it’s still my favored reading. And because I don’t think these two kids were the types to be living it up oceanside, I found a lake way, way inland in North Carolina that seems perfect. It even features an address of which The Statlers would approve, and that’s where this track goes — the intersection of “Burnt Schoolhouse Rd” and “Old Highway 64 E.” out by Chatuge Lake.