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This has gotten ridiculous. I have at least five more Statler albums to comb through before I can say I’ve more or less exhausted their catalog for this geomp3 feature. So with no regret whatsoever I’m announcing that with the posting of this week’s track I am discontinuing this Statler Brothers series. It’s just too much. I can’t…take it. I’m sure Harold, Phil, Don, and Lew will reappear one day in these hallowed, hollowed pages, but for now I’m too fucking sick of lush string arrangements over mild, plodding acoustic guitars to continue with this. I mean, how could anybody post Statler Brothers week after week after week for four months? It’s impossible!

My fourth month of Statlers-only geomp3s continues this week with “A Special Song for Wanda.” And it’s…sorta not that different from pretty much every Statler Brothers recording ever produced except that it’s a little bit dirtier and actually doesn’t get into the religious stuff. But to keep track, a checklist:

I hear you — we’ll skip right to the double entendres: 3rd verse, fourth line. It seems Wanda was “a Navy wife with too much spare time on her hands,” because her husband was deployed somewhere. I’m sure you can guess what goes down. In fact, the lyrics are pretty sparse so here they are in full:

Wanda was alone at night while he was somewhere servin’
A Navy wife with too much spare time on her hands
His letters were a comfort and I think she really loved him
But paper words don’t fill the space when someone needs a man.

I hope Wanda hears my song and plays it one more time…

It’s brutal, right? “Somewhere makin’ up his bed in Newport News, Virginia…”? That’s brutal, and exactly what I have come to expect from these fine Christan fellows. But the real highlight is 3rd verse, 4th line. And am I a jerk-off and/or a prude for practically gasping when I heard this? “She went down in history and probably will again”? I mean, come on!

(Dropped down in residential Newport News)